Approval dropping

BHO Taileprompter: My approval is dropping. I'll raise taxes, nationalize industry and socialize medicine. That will help.

President of Honduras ousted

BHO Taileprompter: Hugo Chavez' buddy has been ousted as President of Honduras. Finally, an event I can honestly criticize.

Michael Jackson

BHO Taileprompter: I am glad Michael Jackson converted to Islam before he died.

Cap and Trade Passes House

BHO Taileprompter: Cap and Trade has passed the House. Allah Akbar! Oops, I mean thank God.

Government Health Care

BHO Taileprompter: This government health care plan is crap. I am sticking with Blue Cross/Blue Shield.

Iranian invitation to 4th of July embassy parties

BHO Taileprompter: Cancel the Iranians invitation to the 4th of July party. See is Venezuela and Syria are available.

Smoking

BHO Taileprompter: I'll sick the FDA on those nasty smokers. That will teach them. Rahm, run over to 7-Eleven and get me some Marlboro's.

Ahmadinejad

BHO Taileprompter: I need to get on the good side of Iran's leader Ahmadinejad. I will nominate Iran to the UN Human Rights Council.

Iran Elections II

BHO Taileprompter: Protesters are being shot in the streets in Iran. What should I do? Come on girls, let's go for ice cream.

NK may launch missile at Hawaii

BHO Taileprompter: The North Koreans are launching a missile at Hawaii? Wake me up when the fire one at Kenya.

Iran elections

BHO Taileprompter: One Iranian Province tallied 132% of the vote. Acorn never got me over 110%.

Health care plan

BHO Taileprompter: Doctors don't like my health care plan. What do they know? They said crack would kill me years ago.

Three million new jobs

BHO Taileprompter: How can I keep my promise to create three million new jobs in this economy? I will create three million new czars!

Ahmadinejad II

BHO Taileprompter: Ahmadinejad is beating his opponents down in the streets with clubs. I wish I could do that.

Ahmadinejad

BHO Taileprompter: Ahmadinejad won re-election in Iran. Way to go bro.

Israel two state solution

BHO Taileprompter: I am proposing a two state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian problem. They state what they want and I state what they are going to do.

Reverend Wright

BHO Taileprompter: I sure miss Reverend Wright's fiery sermons. He's practically an honorary Muslim.

Pay as you go

BHO Taileprompter: I am introducing "pay as you go." I learned that from my dealer in Chicago.

Don't ask, don't tell

BHO Taileprompter: Gays are mad I supported "don't ask, don't tell." I have had that policy with Michelle for years.

French women

BHO Taileprompter: These French women don't shave. Michelle would look like Chewbacca if she didn't.

Sotomayor is a racist II

BHO Taileprompter: Sotomayor seems to think minorities are smarter than white men. I am really starting to like her.

Al Gore

BHO Taileprompter: I'll send Al Gore to NK to negotiate the release of our reporters. If we are lucky, they will keep him.

Chavez calls Obama a socialist

BHO Taileprompter: Hugo Chavez called me a socialist. For the last time, I am not a socialist. I am a communist.

Visit to Saudi Arabia

BHO Taileprompter: Saudi Arabia is a lovely place. It feels good to be in the birthplace of my religion.

Middle East visit

BHO Taileprompter: I need to go to Mecca for the Hajj soon.

Nationalizing businesses

BHO Taileprompter: I now own CitiBank, Chase, Chrysler, GM and Fannie Mae. This is better than playing Monopoly.