Christmas in Hawaii

BHO Taileprompter: I love spending Christmas in Hawaii. I wonder what all the little people do?

Beach Sewage Spill

BHO Taileprompter: A spill has closed my Hawaiian beach. I haven't seen this much sewage since I met with the Democratic Caucus.

DADT

BHO Taileprompter: DADT has been repealed! Combat is going to be so much more fun now!

Tax Compromise Passes

BHO Taileprompter: Congress passed my tax compromise package. My sellout of liberals is complete.

Clintons

BHO Taileprompter: The Clinton's really know how to handle the press. I will let them do all my dirty work.

Christmas Spending

BHO Taileprompter: I am really in the Christmas spirit. i think I'll spend a trillion dollars of someone else money!

Blizzard

BHO Taileprompter: There is another blizzard in the Midwest. Must be caused by global warming!

Bill Clinton Visits

BHO Taileprompter: Bill Clinton dropped by. He told me where he hid the special box of hand-dipped cigars he left behind.

Keith Olbermann

BHO Taileprompter: Keith Olbermann is a douchebag.

Criticism From Left

BHO Taileprompter: I wish left-wing Democrats would stop calling me a Republican. I am a Socialist!

Tax Deal

BHO Taileprompter: I guess I will make a tax deal with the devil...err...Republicans.

White House Haunted

BHO Taileprompter: The White House is haunted. Every time I look in a mirror I see Jimmy Carter.

Surprise visit to Afghanistan

BHO Taileprompter: My surprise visit to Afghanistan was a success. I was able to talk to Karzai on the phone!

Unemployment Up

BHO Taileprompter: Unemployment is up to 9.8%! I'll leave town and let Biden deal with it.

Summit With GOP

BHO Taileprompter: My Slurpee summit with Republicans was a failure.

Wikileak

BHO Taileprompter: I won't take this Wikileak thing laying down. I am drafting a strongly worded letter!

COP16

BHO Taileprompter: I am too embarrassed to go to the COP16 conference in Cancun. I guess I will opt-out.

Busted Lip

BHO Taileprompter: I got a boo boo on my lip playing basketball. :(

Black Friday

BHO Taileprompter: I am going #BlackFriday shopping. It is hard to buy Christmas presents for my socialist friends.

Pardoning a Turkey

BHO Taileprompter: I pardoned a turkey today and secured the turkey vote for democrats in 2012.

North Korean Attack

BHO Taileprompter: Those crazy North Koreans need to knock it off. They are giving good communists a bad name.

New Airport Scanners

BHO Taileprompter: My stock in naked body scanners is really taking off.

START Treaty

BHO Taileprompter: Congress needs to hurry up and ratify START. I lost the nuke codes again!

Headed to the airport

BHO Taileprompter: I am headed to the airport for a TSA screening. Michelle never "touches my junk" anymore.

Being Compared to Jimmy Carter

BHO Taileprompter: I wish people would stop comparing me to Jimmy Carter. I don't even like peanuts.

Superbowl Party

BHO Taileprompter: I want my Superbowl Party to look bipartisan. Invite the RINO from Louisiana who voted for Obamacare.

Harry Reid's Racial Remarks

BHO Taileprompter: Harry Reid is a moss-backed old cracker.