Chrysler bankruptcy

BHO Taileprompter: I failed to save Chrysler from bankruptcy. I must do something to save GM. I will help promote GM's vehicle. I have been wanting a Hummer.

Sleeper agent

BHO Taileprompter: We have activated our first sleeper agent, Arlen Specter. My plan to turn America into a Communist dictatorship with me as "President for life" is coming together.

Swine flu II

BHO Taileprompter: I am taking aggressive action to stop swine flu. I am eating bacon, sausage and pork for breakfast until this pandemic is stopped.

New York flyby

BHO Taileprompter: Authorizing the Air Force 1 photo op flyby of the Statue of liberty was a mistake. I should have Photoshoped it like my birth certificate.

Prosecuting Bush officials

BHO Taileprompter: We need to prosecute Bush officials for torture. Hmm..I authorized the killing of three Somalis. Crap! They will prosecute me for murder after I leave office.

Teleprompter

BHO Taileprompter: Damn it. I got ahead of my teleprompter. I have to stop snorting crank before giving speeches.

Partisanship

BHO Taileprompter: I need for my health care bill to be nonpartisan. Tell the Republicans to vote for it or else!

Swine flu

BHO Taileprompter: This swine flu outbreak is getting serious. I hope it wasn't caused by all the pork in the stimulus.

Getting rich

BHO Taileprompter: Al Gore has gotten rich claiming anthropogenic climate change. When I leave office, I'll get rich promoting anthropogenic meteor strikes.

Bo II

BHO Taileprompter: Crap! Bo ate my stash. I'll have the secret service follow him around with a pooper scooper.

Bo

BHO Taileprompter: Michelle! This stupid dog is peeing on my leg again!

Janet Napolitano

BHO Taileprompter: Janet Napolitano thinks the 9-11 hijackers came from Canada? Quick. Get her a teleprompter.

Torture memos II

BHO Taileprompter: I would like to water board Dick Cheney.

Smoking

BHO Taileprompter: I hate sneaking up to the roof to smoke. I'll take the batteries out of the Oval Office bathroom smoke detector.

Torture memos

BHO Taileprompter: Rahm, find out who the moron was who authorized the release of the memos that proved the CIA interrogation techniques worked. Oh, that was me.

Budget cut II

BHO Taileprompter: I can't believe people don't consider $100 million a lot of money. That is 1/7 of what I spent to buy the Presidency.

Budget cut

BHO Taileprompter: People are claiming my proposed $100 million budget cut is the same as giving up two lattes a year. Someone get over to Starbucks and get me a grande mocha.

Hugo Chavez II

BHO Taileprompter: I am so glad Hugo Chavez is only a dictator and not a king. I didn't have to bow down this time.

Sundays

BHO Taileprompter: I love Sunday now that I don't have to attend church anymore. It's great to sleep in and I don't feel like a hypocrite.

"Vagina friendly"

BHO Taileprompter: Rosario Dawson said I was "vagina friendly." Hmm.. maybe for her.

Rush Limbaugh

BHO Taileprompter: I hate Rush Limbaugh. I want to kick his butt.

Hugo Chavez

BHO Taileprompter: I love Hugo Chavez. He promised me some tips on socialism and how to become "President for life."

Tea Parties

BHO Taileprompter: The tea parties must have been fizzled out. There was no mention on the front page of the New York Times.

Disapproval number

BHO Taileprompter: I can't believe 32% of Americans strongly disapprove of me. They must be racists.

Administration jobs

BHO Taileprompter: I still have over 100 administration jobs available. If you are a tax cheat, you may qualify.