Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Approval dropping

BHO Taileprompter: My approval is dropping. I'll raise taxes, nationalize industry and socialize medicine. That will help.

Monday, June 29, 2009

President of Honduras ousted

BHO Taileprompter: Hugo Chavez' buddy has been ousted as President of Honduras. Finally, an event I can honestly criticize.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Michael Jackson

BHO Taileprompter: I am glad Michael Jackson converted to Islam before he died.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Cap and Trade Passes House

BHO Taileprompter: Cap and Trade has passed the House. Allah Akbar! Oops, I mean thank God.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Government Health Care

BHO Taileprompter: This government health care plan is crap. I am sticking with Blue Cross/Blue Shield.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Iranian invitation to 4th of July embassy parties

BHO Taileprompter: Cancel the Iranians invitation to the 4th of July party. See is Venezuela and Syria are available.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


BHO Taileprompter: I'll sick the FDA on those nasty smokers. That will teach them. Rahm, run over to 7-Eleven and get me some Marlboro's.

Monday, June 22, 2009


BHO Taileprompter: I need to get on the good side of Iran's leader Ahmadinejad. I will nominate Iran to the UN Human Rights Council.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Iran Elections II

BHO Taileprompter: Protesters are being shot in the streets in Iran. What should I do? Come on girls, let's go for ice cream.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

NK may launch missile at Hawaii

BHO Taileprompter: The North Koreans are launching a missile at Hawaii? Wake me up when the fire one at Kenya.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Iran elections

BHO Taileprompter: One Iranian Province tallied 132% of the vote. Acorn never got me over 110%.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Health care plan

BHO Taileprompter: Doctors don't like my health care plan. What do they know? They said crack would kill me years ago.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Three million new jobs

BHO Taileprompter: How can I keep my promise to create three million new jobs in this economy? I will create three million new czars!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Ahmadinejad II

BHO Taileprompter: Ahmadinejad is beating his opponents down in the streets with clubs. I wish I could do that.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


BHO Taileprompter: Ahmadinejad won re-election in Iran. Way to go bro.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Israel two state solution

BHO Taileprompter: I am proposing a two state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian problem. They state what they want and I state what they are going to do.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Reverend Wright

BHO Taileprompter: I sure miss Reverend Wright's fiery sermons. He's practically an honorary Muslim.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Pay as you go

BHO Taileprompter: I am introducing "pay as you go." I learned that from my dealer in Chicago.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Don't ask, don't tell

BHO Taileprompter: Gays are mad I supported "don't ask, don't tell." I have had that policy with Michelle for years.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

French women

BHO Taileprompter: These French women don't shave. Michelle would look like Chewbacca if she didn't.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Sotomayor is a racist II

BHO Taileprompter: Sotomayor seems to think minorities are smarter than white men. I am really starting to like her.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Al Gore

BHO Taileprompter: I'll send Al Gore to NK to negotiate the release of our reporters. If we are lucky, they will keep him.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Chavez calls Obama a socialist

BHO Taileprompter: Hugo Chavez called me a socialist. For the last time, I am not a socialist. I am a communist.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Visit to Saudi Arabia

BHO Taileprompter: Saudi Arabia is a lovely place. It feels good to be in the birthplace of my religion.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Middle East visit

BHO Taileprompter: I need to go to Mecca for the Hajj soon.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Nationalizing businesses

BHO Taileprompter: I now own CitiBank, Chase, Chrysler, GM and Fannie Mae. This is better than playing Monopoly.