Thursday, July 30, 2009

Beer summit

BHO Taileprompter: I had a hard time deciding the correct beer for the beer summit. Since, I invited a cop, I chose Colt 45.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Changing ObamaCare

BHO Taileprompter: If the Blue dogs want to change ObamaCare, let them take out the part where we euthanize old people to save money.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Poll numbers

BHO Taileprompter: My poll numbers are still dropping. Fire the New York Times and MSNBC. The Huffington Post will do all our PR now.

Saturday, July 25, 2009


BHO Taileprompter: The CBO keeps calling my ObamaCare plan savings a lie. Fire the head of the CBO. Oh crap. He doesn't work for me.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Health care speech

BHO Taileprompter: Americans aren't buying my health care reform speeches. I wonder why? Get me a different teleprompter!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Rescuing the economy

BHO Taileprompter: I have "rescued the economy." Time for a smoke and a quickie.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Hillary Clinton

BHO Taileprompter: Rahm, get my Secretary Of State on the phone. You don't remember her name? Me neither.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Canned pork

BHO Taileprompter: Why are people upset we bought $16 million in canned pork with stimulus money? I am donating it to my friends the Israelis.

Health insurance for illegals

BHO Taileprompter: Democrats defeated the Republican amendment to strip coverage of illegals from health care reform. Finally, my aunt in Boston will be able to get coverage.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Democrat's Health Care Plan

BHO Taileprompter: I can't sign a plan that increases the deficit. Keep cooking the books until you show a surplus.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Health care reform

BHO Taileprompter: Have heart we will pass health care reform. Of course, after it passes you will have to wait years if you need a new heart.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


BHO Taileprompter: I am thinking about tearing down the Washington Monument and building a statue of myself in it's place.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Nationalized Health care

BHO Taileprompter: If republicans don't like my nationalizing of health care, I'll Rahm it up their butts.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Meeting the Pope

BHO Taileprompter: I would have bowed down for the Pope, but I only do that for Arab Kings and Communist dictators.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Rattner resigns

BHO Taileprompter: Kudos to Rattner for saving the UAW...err..GM and Chrysler.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Poor economic news

BHO Taileprompter: The stimulus plan is working as intended. As soon as the economy completely collapses, people will embrace my socialist agenda.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Leering at a booty

BHO Taileprompter: Michelle is mad about me leering at that woman's booty in France. It sure was a fine caboose though.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


BHO Taileprompter: My high tech Blackberry has a virus. I need to stay off YouPorn.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Presidential Approval Rating is -5

BHO Taileprompter: OMG. My Presidential Approval Rating is -5. Raise taxes and keep raising them until my approval goes up.

Monday, July 6, 2009

GM and Chrysler sales down

BHO Taileprompter: Chrysler, GM and Toyota had the worst sales performance in June. What can I do? I'll buy a Lexus!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Trip to Russia

BHO Taileprompter: I am looking forward to this trip to Russia. They have a lot of great Mosques there.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

NK missiles

BHO Taileprompter: Take me to the bunker. NK is firing missiles at us. Oh wait, that's just fireworks.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


BHO Taileprompter: Unemployment is up to 9.5%. Hire more czars!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


BHO Taileprompter: I think I will skip my annual pilgrimage to Mecca and vacation at Martha's Vineyard this year.